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Dealing With Homesickness at Summer Camp
Homesickness - it can masquerade as a tummy ache, interfere with eating, sleeping, and playing, and make separation from home and family a miserable experience rather than a valuable opportunity to gain independence. While only about 20 percent of children are affected with homesickness severe enough to keep them from enjoying an away-from-home camping experience, some degree of homesickness is the norm for the vast majority of kids. The good news, though, is that there are things that parents can do to minimize the distress that children may feel when separated from home.
A recent study by Christopher Thurber, Ph.D., a staff psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy, a boarding school in New Hampshire, and Edward Walton, M.D., a University of Michigan physician who specializes in camp health issues, provides guidance for parents in helping kids to avoid or cope with homesickness. According to the study authors, it's important to address homesickness concerns ahead of the separation, and to discuss strategies for coping. Some tips from the professionals:
- Let your child help to make the decision to go away to camp. This allows her to feel some control over the situation rather than feeling as if the separation was imposed upon her.
- Spend time learning about the camp by visiting it with your child or looking at brochures or the camp website. If possible, introduce your child to camp staff or other children who will be campers at the same time, so that there will be a familiar face once he gets to camp.
- Discuss the positive aspects of a camp experience, such as making new friends and learning new skills.
- Practice separations with a sleepover at a friend or grandparent's house.
- Acknowledge that homesickness is normal, but that there are strategies that will lessen the discomfort, such as talking about feelings with a camp counselor, writing letters home, and seeking out friends and activities.
- Block out the camp dates on a calendar, so your child can put the separation into perspective.
- Keep your own anxieties to yourself. Remain positive about the camp experience so as not to transmit your own fears to your child.
- Don't tell your child in advance that you'll come to get her if she arrives at camp and feels homesick. Not only does this set up the expectation that she will feel homesick but it doesn't allow her to gain skills in overcoming her feelings if she does experience this problem. If you receive a distress call from your child or her camp counselor once she gets to camp, offer reassurance and a vote of confidence that she will be able to stay and enjoy the experience.
- If homesickness is prolonged and severe and your child is having trouble eating or sleeping due to homesickness, you may need to take him home. Don't treat this as a failure. Reassure him that he will have other opportunities to practice separations and that eventually he'll be able to stay at camp.
The American Camp Association (ACA) publishes a DVD-CD set called "The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success" that includes homesickness prevention strategies. Log on to
www.acacamps.org to learn more.
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